Tonight, right this instant, at 1:28 AM, Thursday morning, I wanted to weep. I have not felt like crying, much less weeping for years, not many things warrant such a flippant and emotional response, but somehow this seemed appropriate, this want, this desire to do so, but not the actual act. I'm going numb all over, emotions themselves are as blatantly systematic and predictable as ever, so why go through with them? I go through the motions because part of me remembers what it means to be a functional member of society, a functional human being. And if I dared not to be I'd have to jump off a cliff. I am so deeply in contempt with everything right now, my head can barely wrap itself around my hands, I do not want to think, I have had enough, reality stay your bitter fingers, my lips were not made for you.
None of me was. Nothing. Not a damn thing. Leave me be.
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